In the fourth stage of metta bhavana – the Buddhist meditation practice aimed at cultivating metta (loving-kindness) – the focus is on directing goodwill towards a ‘difficult’ person. Normally, this difficult person is someone you are personally involved with, who is a source of tension, conflict, or emotional pain. But there are many ‘difficult’ people on the planet, to put it lightly, and the fourth stage of metta bhavana can become even more challenging if one’s object of attention is not someone one knows – who one may have some positive feelings about – but a stranger who one only feels enmity towards. This can be because of how destructive they and their actions are, which negatively affects large swathes of people. The two obvious examples here are Donald Trump and Elon Musk.
I wrote an article about whether bingeing on news related to Musk in the run-up to a psychedelic experience is wise, given the powerful influence of ‘set and setting’. I mentioned how my own hate bingeing of Musk-related news is, on the one hand, extremely satisfying when it involves his faults being publicly exposed and his ego damaged; but on the other hand, do I really benefit by stoking the flames of my hatred for him and irritation towards him? Is recreational hating/rage good for one’s mental health, even if it feels satisfying and enjoyable?
The Buddhist perspective is that compassion and loving-kindness should be cultivated so that they are directed universally; in other words, every sentient being is deserving of well-wishing. This means, of course, that Trump and Musk deserve metta, no matter how narcissistic, greedy, selfish, unempathetic, immoral, and harmful they are. During a Quaker meeting at Friends House in London, someone’s vocal ministry was centred on striving to see ‘that of God in everyone’ (a key Quaker concept) during these factious times. From a Quaker point of view, as much as we have to oppose what Trump and Musk are doing, it is important to also recognise and see that ‘the divine within’ is in them, just as it is in everyone else. A non-supernatural way of framing this idea would be that Trump and Musk, deep down, have an incorruptibly good and worthy aspect of themselves.
Of course, it is extremely difficult to see any display of their incorruptible goodness, and it is similarly hard to feel that they deserve metta. Why should we assume they have not been completely corrupted when all the evidence seems to point to precisely that? And why should we try to direct warmth and kindness towards them when they refuse to do so for others? And what difference would it even make to extend metta to them? Practising metta bhavana is unlikely to change how they conduct themselves. What is meaningfully making a difference to their loss of power and fame, in contrast, seems to be calling them out on their lies and idiotic and pathetic behaviour. Trolling Musk may chip away at his inflated ego and negatively affect his popularity more than metta bhavana ever could.
At the same time, however, the difficult childhoods of Trump and Musk have been documented (this is not to excuse their toxic behaviour, only to possibly explain some of it at least in part). And I think it is pretty clear a lot of what they say and do is rooted in feelings of insecurity; this seems particularly evident in the case of Musk, who is constantly desperate for validation and to appear cool – in the way a cringey teenager is (except it’s cringier because he’s in his 50s). This is all to say that, in addition to the importance of holding Trump and Musk to account and making sure they pay the consequences for breaking the law, if they both felt less insecure – and hence weren’t perpetually hungry for power, fame, and money – then they may act less heartlessly. People who are secure in themselves and content with the non-material aspects of life don’t tend to feel such a strong and unrelenting need to step on others to extract more external rewards for themselves.
The justification for universal metta, then, is that it doesn’t make the most difficult people worse but instead may help them act in more virtuous ways. Another justification for extending metta to people like Trump and Musk is that – related to my earlier point about bingeing anti-Musk content – this can benefit one’s own mental health. Even if enjoying the antagonism towards Trump and Musk is satisfying (maybe it even gives one some hope for the future), this can put one in a more persistent state of outrage, anger, irritation, and hatefulness. I’d hardly call this peace of mind, which is what we all want (a peacefulness that comes not from dwelling in an ignorantly blissful state but from achieving equanimity when faced with the state of the world).
Moreover, it’s easy for hatred towards Trump and Musk to feature, or turn into, the wish for bad things to happen to them. Online, you can see this with people wishing for their assassination. But short of hoping that they are killed, this hatred could involve, in the case of Musk, hoping that all his children grow up to despise him or that he suffers (or continues to suffer) a mental breakdown. From a virtue ethics standpoint, wishing for such things just makes one better at being mean-spirited; it does not develop one’s skill of being compassionate when it feels most difficult to be that way.
Still, I haven’t yet tried to incorporate Trump or Musk into metta meditation. In the past, it has sometimes been a struggle to direct feelings of metta towards a difficult person: when silently expressing phrases of goodwill with them in mind, this can feel empty and forced. My knee-jerk reaction is one of irritation and resistance. However, it becomes easier with practice and by recognising that everyone desires to be free from their suffering. It may be much more difficult to choose Trump or Musk as the difficult person, but it’s certainly not impossible to wish them to be healthy, free from suffering, peaceful, and happy. Nor is it impossible to see this well-wishing as wise and justified, rather than wrong or like a form of toxic positivity. Realising the benefits of sending metta to Trump and Musk does not mean treating their actions any less seriously; if anything, in line with the Buddhist worldview, it means seeing more clearly the causes of their harmful behaviour.
I like the idea building out metta like a fire, and once it burns enough you can throw and burn anything on it. The fourth stage should be where your heart explodes and bliss rushes through your being involuntarily. A loving mind is a meditative mind and a meditative mind makes the love flow more easily, so do breath meditation when the engine isn’t working enough. Metta and breath meditation work synergistically. When metta flows falling into the jhanas is much much easier. Also it’s all just a play in gods mind, there is no you, I or anyone. Nobody is in control. These people are part of that. If it’s hard to get to a point where you can throw them on the fire of metta you need to first add some drier crispier logs that burn more easily before you continue with the wet wood. Also it can take a lot of time before you are able to create metta for specific difficult individuals, but once you do there is a space. Something inside of you heals as you accept them more readily. Also it’s possible to create love and kindness for all while at the same time having difficulty with certain beings. It’s just a tool to get the mind more concentrated and loving. Just focus on making the practice continuous. With each of your breaths every day remember to love, let it flow, feel the bliss.
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I really like how you’ve explained the practice of metta. It’s encouraged me to keep practising. I haven’t yet felt those blissful rushes during the fourth stage (but I remember experiencing this during the last stage).